Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize