I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
