stop calling my apartment porn island.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
