The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
