Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
