Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
