Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
