Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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