not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
