I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
