dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
