I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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