You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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