like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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