Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize