He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
