biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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