um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
