if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
