I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
