I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
