You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize