you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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