Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
