Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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