So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
