She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
