We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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