If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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