I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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