we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
