were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
