my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He felt like a one man threesome
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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