could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
