Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
