i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
