Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
