i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
