he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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