Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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