you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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