just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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