i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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