Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
