Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
