Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
