it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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