they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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