I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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