I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize