Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
