I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
