How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
