I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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