I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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