Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
we're so committed to being not committed
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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