Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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