dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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