Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
