just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and she was petting her beer can
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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